Not too long ago, it was a general rule of thumb to count myself gloriously disinterested in motivational speeches, talks, discussions, pep rallies or any other form of what was to me a different way of saying: “Get off your lazy ass and live like I do.” I’ve never been one to worry myself on how everyone else does it. I’ve simply focused on what seems right, feels right and what works, if for no one else but myself. Is that selfish? Perhaps. However, such a question used to be somewhat trivial to me. That is until a few years ago, when I was introduced (not literally) to a man named Randy Pausch. This was an individual whose efforts to not only motivate, but inspire people the world over left an everlasting affect on me and has resonated within me for the past few years. “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” - A few choice words among many other remarkable and rather memorable quotes that have more or less led me to not only my current frame of mind, but the similar outlook my fiancé currently has as well as our collective and current standing in our lives together. So much for my lack of interest.
It hasn’t happened suddenly. In fact, It’s taken a few years for my fiancé Kayleen and I to course our different views and expectations of our future to merge into the steady parallel path it is today. We’ve fought. Oh, yes. We’ve argued. I even have the completion badges. And we’ve discussed at length what the next chapter in our lives is to be. Part one of that agreement is our long awaited wedding day. A long engagement is still underway, but there’s no denying our love and devotion to one another. On September 13, 2013 our union will be finally come to fruition and we will start our journey on a new path – together. But, there’s been a problem. We don’t know what Part 2 will consist of. As of December 2007 Kayleen and I have been college graduates – community college graduates with Associates Degrees to be exact. I know. I know. WHOOP-D-FUCKIN’-DO. But, it’s something. We’ve found out that in this tough economy and actively arduous job market that such a degree and little experience puts us maybe, if at all slightly above the level of pee-ons. Needless to say making money has been somewhat difficult, but after much clawing and scratching, we’ve managed to touch the 65k annual combined income in the past year or so. Not too shabby for some level 2 pee-ons. We have joined the rat race. We have a fairly average and typical life and a house filled with things – nice furniture, nice cars, a nice TV., the latest video games, the newest blu rays, all the newest and nicest books, you name it. It’s the good ol’ American dream. But to our dismay, we’ve recently discovered that such a life just isn’t our dream.
Randy Pausch said, “Never lose the child like wonder. It’s just too important. It’s what drives us.” So, we had to think. We had to dig deep to find what truly sparks us, what might make it so that even at the ages of 24 and 25 years old, we wouldn’t be depressed and groaning about the work week – hating waking up in the morning to drag ourselves to our mediocre (at best) jobs and becoming lazy slugs when we came home only to look forward to a weekend consisting of maybe a few family functions, doing the dishes and mowing the lawn. We questioned and wondered if this was truly all our lives had to offer, if this was all we had to look forward to before our hips gave out, we acquired walkers and became thoroughly frustrated with how slow we’d become. What’s next? Do we follow in line, moo and breed like the rest of the herd hoping that children will fill this gap we’re feeling? That idea doesn’t seem particularly fair to us or a child at this point. So, what should we do?
“You just have to decide if you’re a Tigger or an Eeyore,” said Mr. Pausch. Well, we’ve decided. And the verdict is: “Bouncy. Bouncy. Bouncy. Bouncy. Fun. Fun. Fun. Fun.” Yes, we’ve decided on something different, something unique. We’ve had our fill of our normal lives, even it has only been five years in the real world. We’ve chosen to take a path far less traveled. HA! We’ve decided to give up the mountain of things we’ve acquired, something that the vast majority of people are not comfortable with – including myself. There are a few comics I can’t stand to part ways with and Kayleen of course, has a only a few less purses. But, it’s a start. We’ve decided to play our hand a little differently. We’ve decided to travel. Now, I know what you may be thinking – “Dumb-asses. Why the hell would they do that? Give up a house and the equity! Are they crazy? Why not go back to school and change careers. What are they going to do for money? What the hell do they mean travel? … Idiots.” Sound about right? Well, I’m not going to try and suede you. I’ll simply say – to each his own, or their own in our case. We have our lives. You have yours. We’re just choosing to do things a lot differently. Yet, I can make you a promise: I guarantee that even if we don’t have a lot of money, even if most of this never truly works out, even if we end up at some point falling on our faces to come crawling home with broken wallets attempting to build some semblance of a life we now have, it will not be all for nothing. I guarantee our mornings will be brighter, we will be happier, we will see things most never do. We will do things others only dream of. We will be the ones taking the pictures and talking about the adventures everyone else wishes they could have. We will have our lives – truly have our lives. We will truly be free. We’ve discovered liberation in the idea that our hearts do not beat for the “necessary” or the “Well, that’s life” instances. They beat for us. They beat for opportunity, for our future. They beat to live. And now, we’ll start doing just that.
After our wedding next year, for our honeymoon, we’ll be packing up a few necessary items, loading up our 4 fur children (Husky – Loki, Beagle – Molly, Black cat – Maia and the most adorable and loveable cat in the world – Story) and heading off to the black abyss of the unknown. We don’t plan to stay gone forever, even for very long at a time as our family’s are too important to us. But we do plan to make the most of our journeys, as there will undoubtedly be many. We’d like to trek across the United States and maybe head up to Canada for some sight-seeing. If we decide to branch out, we may head to Australia, to China, to Europe and maybe even Antarctica. It is all decided yet undecided. We’re just now beginning our journey to take a journey. Getting rid of everything we’ve acquired is a task all its own. The change is grueling and so explicitly unique, that its discomfort is all encompassing. The not-knowing what the future holds, and I literally mean not knowing, having no idea what may come other than open road or trail, is tremendously heavy in its mountain of anxiety. The question of income, finances and living is a huge concern, but our overwhelming confidence and Kayleen’s (mostly) outstanding optimism keeps us going.
“The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough.”
- Randy Pausch
We’re extremely excited and it’s best to know that all of our loved ones are supporting us in our decision. It’s good to know we’re loved and that even without a home of our own, if we fall down, if we lose out, there will always be a home to come back to. We love you all. Thank you.
It has begun.
We ramble on…
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